kimi no koe
by marianne in chains
Summary: Naruto and Sakura face each other in the Jounin Exams. It's been years since Naruto didn't bring home the body but Sasuke's never let them alone. [mild AU]


Naruto does not belong to me.

This sprang out of nowhere. I read a fic some time ago (whose title I cna't recall) that had Sasuke dying as opposed to returning with Naruto. I agreed that it was a more plausible course of action, From that, the angst!plotbunny attacked. Also, -in a perfect world- is not used as a scene separater. And I apologise for raping the fndom. D:

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kimi no koe

-in a perfect world-

Sakura would not be standing across an arena from Naruto in their first Jonin Exam, counting the ways Sasuke is with them. He is not, physically- Naruto failed to bring the body home, much to Sakura's surprise. But he is there in the way that they move now, in the perverted Chidori she saw Naruto use once.

Naruto lunges forward and Sakura slams her foot into the ground, watches it shatter and shatter. Naruto dodges, throws a kunai towards her that she catches and adds to her store for later. And so they dance. His Rasengan misses her; she moves faster than he could have ever predicted, striking him in the back with force that should have broken him, but doesn't. He is not ordinary- not _normal_, and neither is she. They are products of a fate they were too young for, and you can tell.

They clash, arms locked, and Naruto looks feral, berserk, like she has not seen him for years. But he has changed since Sasuke, and she has changed, and everything has changed. Sakura's breath whistles through clenched teeth, and the question is only heard by Naruto's fox-sharp ears.

"Did he ever kill Itachi?"

A dirty tactic that gives her time to jump back and assess her injuries- none merit healing. Slits of sky-not the sky they watched as children, never-

"I wouldn't know." He sounds like fierce Temari, or wounded Neji, or Sasuke himself who she can't think of now as he bears down on her again. As her arms bleeds onto her hand and the kunai is slippery in her fingers, Sakura wonders if it was worth it. If Sasuke had killed Itachi- or simply abandoned them for a fruitless quest.

Was it worth the way Naruto didn't smile, worth the look on his face when he realized that Sasuke's name wasn't cut into the Hero's Stone and never would be?

Was it worth the way Ino cried, worth the way she shoved away Shikamaru, who had been planning to propose, and told him everything he'd never wanted her to say; he wasn't Sasuke, he wasn't good enough and he never would be?

Was it worth the way Neji recoiled when Naruto had asked was he happy now that he was number one genius; was it worth the way he didn't let TenTen go to him?

She is dancing with Naruto like she never thought she would, and it is crimson-beautiful. She prepares to summon the slug like Tsunade taught her, but Naruto recognizes the signs- of course he would- and slams into her out of nowhere. It takes all of her monstrous strength not to slap him and throw a tantrum like she would have when they were twelve.

Was it worth anything?

Was it worth the way Hinata's heart broke seeing Naruto's devotion and Kiba's crippling inability to help her, just that once?

Was it worth the way Kakashi-sensei had seemed to turn into an old man overnight, worth the way he died on a mission that would not have killed him back when Sasuke was still alive, if missing?

Was it worth the lack of spirit afflicting Gai-sensei, or the way his young protégé no longer spoke to her, for fear of an Ino-esque rejection?

She doubted it. She really did.

Naruto's kagebunshin doesn't surprise her like it does the spectators who don't know that he's been using that tactic since his genin days. Her substitution surprises him though, as she takes the place of one of his clones and latches onto him. Sakura wonders what Tsunade-sama thinks of this fight, up in her high seat.

She knows what her teacher is doing; she is painting them into the Sannin, painting Sakura's pink hair over her blonde, and Naruto's yellow over Jiraiya's white. She is painting them into legend- in place of the snake-genius who betrayed everything is a young prodigy from a dying clan who set out for justice and betrayed everything, but died young and tragically.

She is painting them into legend, and in the place of a perverted hermit who deserted everything is a boy with a demon inside him, in every possible sense, who's working on becoming a hermit of sorts.

She is painting them into legend and in the place of a beautiful woman with inhuman strength and a fear of being old is a beautiful young woman with inhuman strength who fears nothing, but you couldn't tell by looking at her.

Sakura doesn't know how she'll escape being Tsunade at first, but as Naruto watches her with animal cunning from across the arena she knows that there is only one way- the student must surpass the teacher. She must beat Tsunade and become her own legend.

She is painting them into legend as they stare each other down, both realizing that the battle will never end this way. They have almost the same idea, and the stands are silent as they lower their heads in concentration. Sakura will use the one trick, the one technique that Tsunade never taught her.

-in a perfect world-

One gate and her senses sharpen enough the see the glow of red chakra around his body. Tsunade is visible to her in the distance. Two gates and the Hokage's expression drifts towards concern. Naruto's teeth are turning into fangs.

Sakura snaps open the gates one by one, methodically, as Naruto releases Kyuubi, bit by bit. It is at the third gate, as her wounds heal, that the sound of Tsunade screaming for someone, anyone to stop them filters through to her and she ignores it.

Fourth gate and her blood rushes a little too much. Naruto is probably more demon than human right now. They will kill each other, tragedy dictates. Tsunade and common sense disagree. Fourth gate and the ANBU fall upon the solitary figures in the arena and the dying sun. Dimly, as everything clicks shut, Sakura hears Tsunade order them to see her in her office after they're cleaned up. It goes unspoken that she will not heal them.

They do not look at one another as the doctor's bandage them with wary eyes and careful hands. News spreads fast in Konoha. Sakura is bleeding from her arm where Naruto cut her, and he, in turn, cannot move without pain radiating from his spine. It should never have come to this, she thinks.

Tsunade gives them the expected speech, how could you do that, no respect for life, better ways to fight, won't be jounin with that attitude.

Sakura pipes up to remind Tsunade that they did what they had to do, given the circumstances. They could not defeat each other in any other way. Naruto agrees. Tsunade shakes her head and looks at them with wide, sad eyes. She wonders if there is a time reversing jutsu out there, because she knows now that she would use it no matter what the cost.

-in a perfect world-

Instead of smiling or consoling them, or million other, better things, she dismisses them and watches them from her window. She would turn back time for them, because Sakura could have been a beautiful, happy young girl content with the rank of chuunin and not a jounin with unheard of strength and a few ghosts to many. Naruto deserved to be happy, rising through the ranks with Sasuke by his side, not turning himself into a monster fit only for assassinations others wouldn't take.

Tsunade watches them go, and wishes she could change time.

Naruto thinks of the way things should have been, with Team 7 becoming jounin together and going out and getting drunk and in love. Naruto wants a perfect world where Sakura didn't loathe him for ruining everything and driving Lee away because she wouldn't love Lee, she'd love Sasuke and he'd love her too, like he loved Naruto. And when they got older there would be a house for three with one bed.

Naruto wants his perfect world, because everything has broken, broken, and is breaking before him as his girl-his Sakura-chan, walks away.

Sakura strides off with determination- whether to not cry or to find Lee and tell him everything, everything. She is done with ideal worlds, because she wasted hers on her childhood and buried them with Sasuke and Kakashi.

-in a perfect world-

Tsunade weeps at the window, and Naruto visits the Hero's Stone and swears (again, again) to carve Sasuke's name, and Sakura goes looking for the one man who never let her down.

Was it worth anything? She paints them into legend with her tears, and promises the change things because this is not what they deserve. She paints them into legend

-in a perfect world-

-in a perfect world-

your voice would still be with me.


End file.
